My running mate! (Don't tell!)

Hey,

Since I decided to start this blog, it occurred to me that I can put anything I want on here. I need to give you guys reasons to vote for me so that in November nobody will be any the wiser if those Diebold jerks drop the ball again.

One of the questions everyone asks me is who my running mate will be. A lot of people want me to pick Rudy Guliani, but there's no way. I mean, he and my wife Cindy are just a little too chummy when we have political gatherings. That jerk isn't going to be wooing the wife for the next eight years.

Some people want me to pick Lieberman. He hates video games, so that won't work when we have "Quake Night" on the White House computer network.

So I've decided on Tom Ridge.

Yep, Ridge. You heard it here first. Why would I go for this guy? Simple.

He's from Pennsylvania, a state with far too many pine trees. If he didn't set forest fires (I know I would) then he must be somewhat stable. He also married a librarian, so I'll have first choice of all the movies that come into the library.

He's also a little deaf. That means whenever we order pizza, I'll get the choice of the toppings.
"What do you want on your 'za, Tom?.... No answer?...Sounds like triple bacon and pepperoni again!"

So vote for me in November, because triple bacon and pepperoni is really good, especially when it's free! (Like cops, Presidents get free food during their shift at fast food restaurants.)